The Power of Words #4
Telling Truth in Love #4
Our words have a more significant impact than we often realize
Even with the words we tell ourselves
We need to understand that the words we speak have power to them
When we speak Gods Word it brings life to things around us
It’s acknowledging the power our words have
Proverbs 18:21 (NLT): The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Proverbs 18:21 (The Message)
21 Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.
Every day with our words we either speak life or we speak death
We can either offer up some poison or offer up some fruit. The choice is ours
We do t want to underestimate the impact our words can have that’s keeping us from some significant transformations in us
We aren’t speaking the truth that God wants us to be speaking to have that impact in our life
We use the language of physical pain to talk about the social pain we sometimes experience
Some examples of this would be
She broke my heart
“Break” is a physical expression and we use that to describe what has been done to our heart
He hurt my feelings
The word “hurt” expectation is used to describe like being punched in the gut
Physical pain and relationship pain affects our brain the same way. It can’t tell the difference
We seem to be slower to see the impact that our words have
We don’t always acknowledge it and we dismiss the weight of those words
We can’t erase the words that have been spoken
Hope you can see just like I can how difficult it is to control the tongue
We have to understand that this is a more difficult struggle for us than we have acknowledged
James 3:7–8 (NLT): People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, 8 but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.
Notice verse 8. We try to speak words of life but at times we struggle to try and tame the tongue
I’m right there with you
It’s frustrating you speak about these things and you find yourself struggling through the week
Do you find yourself using harsh words to your spouse, gf, bf, partner?
It’s not intentional but we find ourselves being harsh or disrespectful to people, family, kids, wife
If someone would record the words we have spoken and played it back, it would be embarrassing
It’s true to all of us !!!
We want to do good in this area but it’s a struggle to tame the tongue
Not only are we sinning against the people we are speaking to but we are sinning against God.!!!
Not only do we need to make things right with those we offended but we need to make things right with God
We are being hurtful to the Holy Spirit
Ephesians 4:29–31 (NLT): Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.
Notice of all the things Paul tells us here. He points out. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God
This means our words have that much weight
“Grieve”. Has emotions to it. To make someone sad
This is God listening in on our conversations and it “grieves” Him
We need to understand that these words we speak have significant meanings to them
What is it your struggling with when it comes to words????
Commission is things that we do, words that we commit
Words we say that we shouldn’t say
Speak words that we shouldn’t speak
When it comes to our mouth there are sins of omission
Words that we should say but we are not saying
Words that we should speak that we haven’t spoken
In Ephesians 4 Paul challenges the church of Ephesus to deepen and mature in their faith
Ephesians 4:14 (NLT): Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.
Ephesians 4:15–16 (NLT): Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
Has Christians we are committed to grow in every way
One way to grow is to speak the truth in love to one another
Pride blinds us from seeing the truth about ourselves
Colossians 3:16 (NIV84): Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
Hard truths are shared in love because they care. They help us see some things
Admonish - means to warn, correct, direct
Paul’s says that if you are a part of the church you need to be committed to doing and have others do for you With words
They will speak the truth in your life or speak the truth in someone else’s life
You will do this in the spirit of love
When we speak to someone with hard truths it’s not based on our own emotions, not out of our own experience
When we speak hard truths to someone it needs to be done mutually
These things needs to be thoughtfully and not recklessly
Sometimes we speak truth in anger
Or speak truth in irritation
Speak truth in bitterness
Speak truth in self righteousness indignation
The Bible says to speak the truth in love and in all wisdom
When was the last time you had someone’s this to you?
They spoke the truth in love but some things they said was hard for you to hear
When was the last time you spoke some truth to someone in the Spirit of Love?
Jesus said the truth will set you and it’s worth it
The truth will set you free but it will pin you down first
That’s how truth work and it’s not easy but it’s worth it
Ezekiel 33:6 (NIV84): But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.’
The watchman responsibility to look out for the enemy
Look at the last part of the verse
He will hold the watchman accountable
The Bible calls us to be watchman for one another
If we see a brother or sister in the church being attacked by the enemy then WE has watchman need to say something
We can’t pretend it doesn’t happen but we need to do it in the Spirit of Love
One important note. There are people who enjoy confronting people. I mean they enjoy doing it
If you enjoy confronting people then you are doing it wrong
You are not approaching these people in the Spirit of Love
It needs to be done more with the Spirit of Love than with a heavy heart
Sometimes we may rationalize a person by making excuses
We are excusing other people but what we really are doing is making excuses for ourselves so we don’t have to confront them
It’s hard to say what path we would continue on if a friend didn’t talk to us
What did it save us from? It’s really hard say
I think what you are doing is dangerous…
You could be in a bad relationship
You could be drinking too much
You could be doing something with a co-worker
Your a Christian but your bf/gf isn’t
The list can go on
Something to think about
Is my motive to help or is my motive to hurt?
1 Corinthians 4:14 (NIV84): 14 I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children.
I’m warning you because I care. It’s the watchman on the wall
Paul’s words are spoken out of love
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV84): 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV84): Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
We often think that the most effective way to bring about change is to tear someone down
We sometimes mirror the spirit of the person that is speaking to us
If they are harsh. We are harsh
If they are soft spoken then we are soft spoken
What does my tone communicate?
2 Corinthians 2:4 (NIV84): For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.
Paul making reference to the 1st letter he wrote them
Paul is writing this letter with tear and a anguish heart
The heavy heart isn’t delighting in this
Colossians 4:6 (NIV84): Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
We are called to speak the truth in love we need to be full of grace
The tone of our truth building will either build a bridge or it will build a wall
The Spirit in which we say it will either build a bridge or it will build a wall
2 Corinthians 7:8–10 (NIV84): Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— 9 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
In our Western Culture today we don’t want to say anything to offend anyone
We don’t want someone getting upset by something we might say so we never step over that boundary
We have to sit down and talk about it has brothers and sisters
It’s the only way it will work
Matthew 18:15–18 (NIV84): 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
We neglect to do what God has called us to do
We need each other on this journey to hold each of us accountable
If you don’t have that in your life then you need it in your life and I do too